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The ballot was not the first thing I checked. The first thing I checked was whether I was allowed to have it. That is the part people who have never been inside do not understand.… 

The shirt reads LET’S ROOT FOR EACH OTHER AND WATCH EACH OTHER GROW. The words wrap around four smiling root vegetables — a carrot, a radish, a beet, an onion — each drawn with its… 

The shirt says meh. Lowercase. A period at the end. White letters, large and bold, on a dark background. No animal. No slogan underneath. No explanation. Just the word, set like a stamp on a… 

The envelope looked like every other official envelope that has ever found me: windowed, pre-sorted, a barcode where a human name should be. I knew what it was before I opened it. I have learned… 

The shirt reads NOT FRIENDLY DO NOT TOUCH in warning-sign lettering. Above the words sits a yellow caution triangle. Inside the triangle, a hand is crossed out. That is the entire design. No slogan underneath,… 

The first thing I notice is the label. Not the ghost. Not the pumpkin. The label: a white ruled rectangle headed COMPOSITION, set inside a black-and-white speckled field, with a dark binding strip running down… 

The shirt is almost blank. On a dark ground, centered, in very small lowercase letters, it says meh. with a period. No animal. No rainbow. No slogan stacked in three typefaces. Just four letters and… 

The shirt shows a diagram before it shows a joke. Across the top, in white capitals: I HAD POTENTIAL. Below that, a white curved ramp descends from an upper ledge to a lower flat one.… 

The first thing I notice is the soil. Not the smiling faces, though there are four of them — carrot, radish, beet, onion — arranged in a loose ring. Not the letters, though they wrap… 

The shirt says meh. in large, bold, lowercase white letters on a dark ground. The period is printed. That is the first thing I notice, and it is the thing I keep coming back to.… 

The shirt reads NOT FRIENDLY DO NOT TOUCH in warning-sign lettering. Above or beside the words sits a yellow caution triangle. Inside the triangle, a hand is crossed out. I keep looking at the crossed-out… 

The first thing I notice is the label. Not the ghost, not the pumpkin, not the speckled black-and-white field that makes the rectangle look like a marble composition book. The label. A white ruled box,…